Q- My husband and I are happily married with two kids. He has a casual friendship with his ex who lives out of town. She is coming to visit for others reasons but my husband invited her to stay with us.

He asked me if it was okay after he mentioned it to her. He also said that he is willing to take it back if it’s not okay with me. I am not sure how I feel about it. They dated so many years ago so it seems silly of me to insist that she can’t stay. What do you think?

A: I think that if you are cool with it, and they are, then there is nothing wrong with her coming provided that it is just for a couple of days. Unless you have reason to question someone’s motives here?

If you are suspicious of her, this visit will be your chance to show her awesome you are, and how “happy” your family is, so she needn’t even try.

Maybe you’ll realize that she is a zero threat and end up making a friend outta the deal (chances are you have at least a few things in common).

If you are concerned about your husband’s intentions then talk to him and decide if it is a legit concern.

If you are worried about both of their intentions, and you have good reasons to feel this way (feeling really uncomfortable with this arrangement is a good reason BTW), then say no, and mean it. Then congratulate yourself for staying out of ‘the danger zone’ with your husband.   

Q: I don’t know what kinds of questions you answer but I will try anyway. The other day me and my boyfriend were having sex and I saw later that my mom had called at around that time and since the phone was in the bed it was answered. I don’t know if she heard anything and I have been avoiding her the last couple of days because I am so embarrassed. What should I do? Should I say anything to her about it?

A: Assess the damage by checking your call duration (if you haven’t already). Chances are the call was probably short; likely she figured out what was going on and hung-up, or she heard nothing and gave up saying “hello?” over and over. Or maybe one of your asses both answered and hung up on her. 


If the call was long it could just mean your phone (like some persistent ex) did not register that it was dropped. Your mom is likely just as weirded out by the whole thing so I doubt she lingered in the call just so she could hear exactly what was going on. Stop avoiding her and ask her about it, playing dumb about being busted for anything, since you don’t know this for sure. Mention that you noticed she called the other day but didn’t realize it until now.

Due to the awkwardness of the situation she will probably let you off the hook, if she in fact did hear anything. The worst case scenario is that she not only heard but is also willing to call ya out on it (no pun intended). Decide what you’ll do about that beforehand. You could act surprised and admit to nothing while throwing in a few ‘are you sure?’s just to make her question whether or not she heard what she thought she did. If she insists apologize and move on. 


Oh, and next time, don’t bring your phone to bed with you. Unless you need to set some alarm to let you know that you have been having sex too long, and if that’s the case a mother’s call would also suffice.
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